They Said Yes. Then Vanished.
Stop Chasing Potential. Start Giving Time to the Faithful.
Picture yourself walking home from the gym.
Eye contact. Solid fist bump. “I’m in.”
You’ve had enough conversations to know the difference. This was different. They were leaning in. Interest in next steps. Talking about people they could tell about it.
You walked home thinking this might finally be the one.
Then silence.
The Follow-Up
Tuesday morning, you sent the text.
“Still good to meet up later?”
Read receipt. 2:47 PM.
No response.
You waited. Tried again.
“No worries if timing’s tight. Let me know when works.”
Thursday: “Yeah man, sorry. Crazy week. I’ll hit you back.”
He never did.
Two meetings in. Real conversations. Notes. Questions. Momentum.
Then air.
What You Won’t Say Out Loud
You started wondering if you imagined the interest.
If you pushed too hard.
If you’re bad at this.
You replay the conversation. Looking for the moment it broke. The thing you said that scared him off.
Worse: you start doubting the ones still around.
Last Month
A guy in another city I’m connected to spent three months meeting with someone. Weekly. Consistent. Taking notes. Sharing his testimony and obeying what he learned. Talking about family, coworkers, next steps.
Then one text: “I need to step back for a season.”
No season. Just gone.
He told me later: “I thought I finally found someone with capacity.”
Here’s What Happened
Interest is cheap.
Agreement isn’t obedience. Enthusiasm isn’t readiness. And the Word has to be tested in every follower’s life at some point.
Jesus talked about the sower and soil in Mark 4. Some growth appears and disappears just as fast. The challenges of life (rocky ground). Busyness (thorns).
Jesus let the ground reveal itself (Pause and take a minute to read it and identify the response of each soil).
Not everyone excited is action-oriented.
Not everyone who obeys for a season will stick when persecution comes.
You mistook interest for obedience. They mistook the idea for the cost.
When the cost showed up (time, obedience, dying to control) they realized this wasn’t what they signed up for.
What You’ll Start Looking For
Stop watching who talks the talk.
Watch who responds with action and heart level obedience.
Good soil looks like this:
Text you after they share the gospel: “Dude, I tried the 3 Circles with my neighbor.”
Bring someone without asking: “Can my brother-in-law come?” (and they actually do)
Start with family first: “I’m meeting with my cousin on Tuesdays now.”
Follow up without you prompting: “Hey, still meeting Thursday?”
Come back after a season of ghosting and own their flakiness with a plan to change.
Talkers sound excited. Movers do something.
The guy who says “I’m all in” but never shows? Data.
The woman who reschedules three times then ghosts? Not ready.
The guy who starts praying for coworkers and texts you what happened? Build there.
The woman who shows up early and asks “Can I bring my sister?” That’s your person.
Last Week I Misread Someone
Meetup felt strong. He was asking all the right questions. Took the story of hope I shared with him. Said he’d start with his friends.
I was already thinking two generations of disciples out.
A week. Then three weeks later, nothing. No follow-up. No response.
It was clear. He liked the idea. He wasn’t counting the cost.
Ghosting is data. It tells you where not to invest.
Let’s Rip the Bandaid Off Now
To be blunt with you (truth in love): you’re measuring the wrong thing.
Don’t look at who’s interested. Look at who’s obedient.
Not who showed up. Who initiated.
Not who talked about it. Who brought someone.
When you stop chasing the ones with “potential” and give time to those who take action, you make time for the obedient few.
The Tension You’ll Live In
Some days you will chase too long. Mistake persistence for faithfulness.
Other days you move on too quick. Miss what God’s doing underneath.
But here’s the relief:
If they disappear, bless them. Rejoice that you obeyed and be grateful you got clarity sooner than later that the receptivity was not there.
Keep walking with the faithful few.
Remember, Jesus had crowds. But from there He invested in twelve. And even a core three.
You’re not responsible for someone’s readiness. That shows up in their response. You’re responsible for your obedience and stewardship.
In short - you can’t make soil good. You can let the Word do the work.
This Week
Watch for one obedient mover.
Someone who initiates. Follows up. Brings a friend. Does something without you.
Invest there.
Start here → https://obey.tools/
Join a 45 Min Skills Lab Zoom Call → https://covomultipliers.com/
Walk with others → https://forms.gle/YwqLhonNSipybAD8A
I'm trying to live this principle out in this next season: "walk with those who walk with you, bless those who don't."
Easy to say, but when someone ghosts you it still hurts, doesn't matter how many times!