2011. Dave’s sitting across a table from a guy, and he tells him he doesn’t think they’re making disciples.
The guy asks why. Dave’s got his reasons. He goes through them.
Then the guy asks what Dave thinks making disciples actually looks like. Dave answers that too. Confident about it, honestly.
The guy tells him that’s not what the New Testament teaches. Dave pushes back. The guy lets him finish.
Then the guy asks one question, and the whole conversation just stops.
“Okay. Then what is a disciple?”
Dave doesn’t have an answer.
That’s the moment. Not a dramatic one. Just a guy realizing mid-sentence that he’s spent the whole conversation critiquing someone else’s disciple-making without ever being able to say what a finished disciple was supposed to look like.
Ask a room of leaders what’s broken and every hand goes up. Ask them to define done and somebody starts checking their phone.
Done Isn’t a Feeling
People try to fix this by making done sound like arrival. Fully formed. Nothing left to grow. Basically sanctified on the spot.
That’s not a definition, that’s just avoidance with better branding, because nobody ever reaches it, so you never have to actually say the word.
The goal isn’t arrival. It’s the irreducible minimum, and you don’t find that sitting at a desk deciding what it should be. You find it by entrusting someone with real responsibility and watching what happens when the weight is actually on them.
Done isn’t “have they arrived.” It’s “have I handed off what was mine to hand off, and are they carrying it.” The floor, not the ceiling. Below the floor, you’re still on the hook. Above it, that’s theirs now, and you don’t get to keep managing it just because you’re nervous.
Doesn’t mean the relationship ends. It just means you stop watching every decision they make like a hawk, because you’ve entrusted responsibility.
Jesus said done, and the guys were still a mess
John 17. Jesus prays over the disciples and says the work is finished. He’s revealed the Father to them. They’ve received it, obeyed it.
4 I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do… 6 “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. – John 17:4,6
Now hold that next to what you actually know about these men. Look a few chapters into Acts and Peter’s still refusing to go talk to Gentiles. God has to give him a vision just to get him to knock it off. These are not finished men. Not close.
Jesus doesn’t say done because they arrived. He hasn’t even been to the cross yet when he says it. He says done because he finished handing off what was his to hand off, and they took it.
Which means the target was never “are they mature.” The target was “did they own it.” Different question. Answerable question.
Skills Aren’t The Whole Thing
You can watch someone check every box on a list. Prays for the sick, runs a group, shares the gospel without flinching.
And still not be done.
Both hands fully trained and a heart that hasn’t caught up, and now those skills just become a way to wreck things faster. Skills alone are a loaded gun with no safety.
So if character’s part of it, and character never fully arrives (it doesn’t, not for any of us), how do you call it?
Same move as before. Not “is their character finished.” Nobody’s is, including mine, including yours. It’s “are they taking responsibility for their own formation, or are they still hiding.” One of those you can actually watch for.
Upcoming: “4 Questions to Get Started Making Disciples”
(Wednesday, August 19th at 3PM ET). Use four simple questions to choose one person, start one conversation, and plan next steps.
Don’t Put a Date On It
Small thing, but it wrecks people. I’ve got to have this guy done in three months.
The second you attach a deadline, you’ve swapped a real definition for a fake one. You’ll either shove someone out before the floor’s under them or keep holding on to someone who’s already ready, just because the calendar hasn’t caught up yet.
People mature at the pace people mature. I know that’s not satisfying. It wasn’t satisfying to hear either.
So What?
Dave didn’t have an answer that day. He chewed on it for awhile. But we’ve got a floor now for what we owe someone before we can say we’re done with our part. Doesn’t mean we’ve got it all figured out. Doesn’t mean every relationship resolves clean, or that either of us always knows when to let go versus when we’re just avoiding a hard conversation by calling it “trust.”
Join us on our next lab to learn what that looks like in real life and how to use the tools we will share to identify the disciples to invest in like Jesus did.
Learn how to multiply disciples like Jesus.
Upcoming: “4 Questions to Get Started Making Disciples”
(Wednesday, August 19th at 3PM ET).
Use four simple questions to choose one person, start one conversation, and plan next steps.
